


90 Days

by Fanningon



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: AU, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 18:18:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11674527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanningon/pseuds/Fanningon
Summary: Rae just moved into a new apartment and there's a musician nearby playing great music.  She just wished he'd play some Oasis though...rinn auINSPIRED BY:One of my neighbours slipped this (a letter requesting that the pianist play a specific song) under my door while I was practising, I thought they were going to make a noise complaint but they just had a request. I played it with my windows open and I heard really loud clapping come from a balcony a few stories up which was super lovely. I’m in such a lovely mood now it’s so nice to be appreciated.Why is this the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen?IMAGINE YOUR OTPhttp://nazi-puncher-1918.tumblr.com/post/157921355491





	1. Rae

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rae's Pov

DAY 1 -  Saturday

Dear Diary

Well all the boxes are in.  I forgot how good that view is from the balcony.  Can’t believe how long it took to finalise everything.  Who’d thought buying an apartment would be so fooking hard?

But it’s finally done.

I guess I should thank Chlo when she gets back from her honeymoon – if she hadn’t of gone off and got married then I might not have ever done this. 

It’s a bit quiet though without her around, playing shitty music.  I do miss her. 

Still, neighbours are nice – Izzy and Chop.  Chop’s a bit of a weird name, seems like something you’d call yourself when you’re a teenager not in your 30S.  But as far as I can tell they’ve been together since they were teenagers anyway, so whatever I guess. 

I really love this apartment, but it needs some upgrading, the bathroom needs a better shower, but the kitchen is perfect.

What is that noise?????

Opened the window – neighbour on the floor below is playing guitar!

Sounds like Stone Roses!

They’ve got good taste!

 

DAY 5 - Wednesday

Rae starred at statue of Bastet she’d gotten from Egypt, then her eyes went up to search the room for the right place to put her. 

Ornaments and paintings were always the hardest. 

She looked up at the clock.  It was getting close to dinner time.

“You don’t really have an excuse.”  She told herself as her eyes turned to her phone. 

She wanted to order a curry – the local Indian restaurant was really good.  But the kitchen was unpacked, so she had no excuse… and she wasn’t made of money…

But she still picked up the phone and ordered herself a curry, some naan, poppadums and mango kulfi to have after.

“I think you’ve worked hard enough today.”  Rae said to herself and put the statue of Bastet on the coffee table and sat down, putting her feet up.  She grabbed her keyboard and balanced it on her stomach.  The first day she’d been here she’d spent hours setting up her computer and televisions.  Her computer was hooked up to 2 huge televisions.  She had 4 external hard drives with terabytes of movies, tv shows, games, music and on one devoted hard drive to her work and her writing.  She still hadn’t been brave enough to try to get any of her novels published, but her fanfic did well online, so she was trying to build up her confidence.  But she made her money from reviewing games.  Her entire life was playing computer games and writing detailed reviews, she also did video and written walkthroughs.  It paid much better than she’d expected; probably better than it should! 

She loaded up ‘Overwatch’ on one screen and played her download of ‘X-Files’ on the other screen.  She was up to Season 4, Episode 6.

“Ah, the old and the new.”  She said happily.  But she wouldn’t get into the game until her curry came. 

It only took 15 minutes and her house was filled with the delicious smell of curry.  Rae poured herself a glass of wine and settled in for a night of gaming, tv and deliciousness. 

A few hours later she paused the game and the tv to get up and go to the toilet. 

“Again.”  She said softly.  She could gear the guitarist from downstairs.

This time he was playing Nirvana. 

Rae opened up the windows and listened, deciding that the rest of ‘X-Files’ could wait – she’d already watched it dozens of times.  And maybe she could drop out of the game… she had some reading to do. 

And reading was always best accompanied by good music.

 

DAY 9 - Sunday

Rae leaned back in her seat, her feet on the bannister, enjoying the sun, eating chocolate and strawberries, drinking wine, reading a novel and listening to the guitar from below. 

Whoever it was had played every day so far – sometimes only for half an hour.  But today they had been playing almost the whole day. 

Sometimes playing over songs they obviously knew perfectly.  Sometimes stumbling over learning something new.  And sometimes playing something she’d never heard before; maybe making their own music? 

She wondered if he played Oasis.  She hadn’t heard them play Oasis. 

 

DAY 22 - Saturday

It had been 4 days since she’d heard the guitar. 

She didn’t realise just how much she’d been enjoying it until she missed it. 

 

DAY 23 - Sunday

Rae grinned the moment she heard the guitar start up the next morning. 

“Glad you’re back, friend.”  She said as she ate her breakfast.  “Working on that original tune I see.”  She grinned, “Or hear actually…” 

She spent all morning listening to the guitar while she wrote a walkthrough for ‘Outlast 2.’

At lunch time, she felt that he must have a job writing original music; he had been working on it all morning. 

But Rae was struck by the need to hear the guitar player play Oasis.  She felt sure, from the music played so far, that they must know some Oasis. 

She was struck with an idea.

A foolish idea…

But she was going to do it anyway.  She looked around for some paper and found the leftover pages that they’d printed Chloe’s wedding invitations on.

“Got no other use for ‘em.”  She said as she started to scrawl a note. 

 

DAY 30 – Sunday

Today it was ‘Don’t Look Back in Anger.’

Every day he’d played 1 Oasis song, after lunch on the weekend and after dinner on weekdays.  She didn’t know if he had guessed it was her and could hear or smell when she was cooking, but he always timed it perfectly. 

He hadn’t played at all today.

The silence had been deafening, especially in the wake of the email from her boyfriend. 

She’d checked her email over breakfast.

He was staying in Thailand for another 6 months with work.  He couldn’t see the point of continuing the relationship if she wasn’t willing to drop everything and go and live with him.  It was an ultimatum.  One she wasn’t willing to give in to.

It was over.

And she’d been sitting on the lounge, alternating between staring at the wall silently, and crying her eyes out.  She wasn’t sure she’d made the right decision – what if she never found anyone else.  He wasn’t perfect… he wasn’t even great.  But he wasn’t bad.  And he told her he loved her.  And he never said any shit about her weight. 

And then she’d heard those opening notes that sounded a little like Lennon’s ‘Imagine’ and a smile came to her face, her watery eyes crinkling up as she laughed slightly, sniffing hard. 

She’d be okay. 

It was better to be alone than to be with someone that wasn’t willing to put the effort into her and the relationship she deserved.  She’d always felt like she was an afterthought to him.  Something he enjoyed but could do without with ease.  She didn’t want to be someone a man could take leave of with ease. 

She wanted to be loved so deeply that he would put the effort in, that he would fight to be with her when things got difficult – like work sending him to the other side of the planet while her work kept her here. 

But then… she hadn’t fought either.  She could have organised something with work; she worked from home about half of the time now…

She wanted to love someone so much that she put the effort in to fight for them. 

A relationship that so easily slipped away from them both was not a relationship worth being in… worth looking back on. 

She’d had some fun times with him.  But it was over now.

It hurt.  It’d hurt for a while.

But she’d be okay. 

 

DAY 31 – Monday

It had been a slow slog of a day, but she’d managed to get everything done for work and was now settling in with ice cream and misery for dinner.  She was going to feel sad about her relationship ending for a while and she was prepared for that. 

But before she sat down on the lounge there was a soft knock on the door.

Rae frowned.  She really didn’t want to see anyone, not even one of her neighbours – which was undoubtedly who was knocking.

But when she went to the door, there was a piece of paper on the floor – it had been carefully slipped under her door.

It was a folded piece of paper, torn from a notebook and she grinned at its ragged edges as she opened it up to read it. 

_‘Are you ok?  From your friendly, neighbourhood guitarist.’_

This little note somehow meant do much to her.  The guitarist must have heard her crying – she’d guessed as much from the song they’d played yesterday.

Rae immediately grabbed some paper and wrote a note back.  She’d wrote a lot more than she intended, so she had to run up the stairs and shove it under the door before she backed out.  She stood staring at the little corner of paper still hanging out from under the guitarist’s door and made herself not try to get the note back.  Instead she knocked the door and bolted upstairs. 

A few minutes later she heard a knock on the door. 

She went over to the door and snatched up the note. 

_‘I recently broke up with my gf.  Same deal – it was for the best.  Finally picked up my guitar again after years of not playing – it helps.  It gets lonely sometimes.’_

She doubted that the guitarist would ever know how much these words helped her.  How thankful she was that they never knocked on her door to talk to her, but instead chose this way of communicating with her – it was all she could handle at the moment. 

She wrote back straight away.  They wrote back and forth for the rest of the evening. 

Rae felt like she’d made a new friend.  And she didn’t care one bit that she had no idea what they looked like.

 

DAY 40 – Wednesday

Sometimes Rae worried that she was bothering the guitarist with the little notes she left under their door.  So she’d not write that day.

But then there’d be a knock, and she’d see the paper slipping under her door. 

Sometimes she was tempted to open the door and see what the guitarist looked like. 

But she never did.

She imagined that this was what internet dating was like before the internet. 

She wanted to make that joke on a note to the guitarist… but then she wasn’t sure that they’d see it like that at all.

 

DAY 50 - Saturday

Rae put her hand on her letterbox and saw another hand going to the letterbox beneath hers.  She looked up and saw the most attractive man she had ever seen in her entire life.

If a literal Greek God had descended upon Earth and deigned to walk among the mere mortals… it was this man. 

She wondered which of her neighbours this man was – he lived on the floor below, that’s all she knew. 

She wondered if he was the guitarist.  The one writing notes with her. 

He was so unbelievably beautiful.

_Stop staring you fucking twat._

And with that message of encouragement to herself, Rae forced herself to smile. 

“Hi.”  She said and she held her hand out, not really expecting him to shake it.

But he did, and she felt her heart stop for a moment. 

“Hi.”  He said.  He seemed distant, quiet. 

“I’m new here.”  Rae said, “Well not really new… as new as someone who’s been here nearly 2 months can be.” 

 _Oh shut up._   Rae groaned internally.  _Stop blathering on!_

“Oh right.”  He nodded slowly.  “You live with your boyfriend then?” 

“No… I live alone.”  Rae asked, furrowing her brows. 

“Oh… I could’ve sworn Chop said Ray lived up there now.”

“Yeah that’s right.  I’m Rae.”  She explained. 

“Oh right… Okay.”  He said softly, “Rae.”  He cleared his throat and Rae had the feeling she was boring him.  “I’m Finn.”  He said, his eyes lowering. 

“Nice meeting you Finn.”  Rae said, intending to get out of his hair.  But then she couldn’t leave without finding out if he was the guitarist.  “Hey, do you live directly below me?”  She asked and he looked up at her.

“Aye I do.”  He said and Rae knew this was the man that played Oasis songs to her every day.  The man she’d been writing foolish little notes to.  He lived in the apartment directly below hers. 

_Oh my fucking god…_

Rae could barely breathe.  She was so embarrassed… to think she’d been sending notes to this literal God. 

Their eyes met for a moment and he dropped his eyes almost instantly. 

Was there any clearer sign that he didn’t want to talk to her – he was completely uninterested in her. 

She had a feeling he wouldn’t be playing Oasis songs to her anymore.  She knew that there’d be no more notes.  It made her heart hurt just thinking about the loss of those daily notes. 

“Well I’ll see you around.”  She said and started to walk away.

“You send the notes?”  He asked as the elevator doors started to close and Rae realised that he hadn’t known that she was the one he’d been writing to – he mustn’t realise that the apartment he’d been slipping notes to was directly above his.  If she said nothing there was a chance he’d keep writing to her… But she knew this was a ridiculous hope.  She figured that he was probably just clarifying what he already knew.  Still… she couldn’t help but hope that he hadn’t realised, and the urge to say ‘no’ was immense. 

“Yes.”  She said as the doors closed.  “Why the fuck…?  How the fuck…?  WHAT the fuck…?”  She said as the lift went up.  He probably knew it had been her that sent him the notes – but she didn’t need to confirm it!  Also – the staring…

“What the fuck Rae.  Acting like you’ve never had a fuck afore.  Aye he’s so beautiful he makes me eyes water, but seriously girl…”  She shook her head at herself. 

By the time she was unlocking the door to her apartment she was feeling a little sad.  She had no doubt she’d lost her daily dose of notes and Oasis played on guitar. 

Rae had spent a long time working on her self-esteem - she knew she was good enough for any man.  But she also knew the way the world worked; so many men just wanted women that were trophies to show off and compete with their friends, not a real human being with her own wants and needs – a full, real person with her own agency.  She knew that it wouldn’t matter what she looked like, she’d find it hard to find the right kind of man that treated her with the respect she deserved… but as a fat woman, she had the added pressure of the shallowness of humanity, but especially of men. 

She sighed and decided that ice cream was very necessary right now. 

She was sorting through her freezer when it happened - music.

A huge smile came to her face. 

 

DAY 52 – Monday

This was the first time she’d woken up to see a note under the door. 

She grinned instantly. 

It put her in a good mood for the rest of the day.

 

DAY 63 - Friday

Rae wiped her dirty hands on her tatty dressing gown a pulled her hair up into a messy bun.  She slipped her fluffy slippers on and took the plant she’d just re-potted back out to the balcony. 

“Brr.”  She complained; it was starting to cool down in the evenings. 

She settled down on the couch and thought about ordering a pizza and playing ‘The Elder Scrolls Online’ for a bit. 

“You’ve got no excuse.”  Rae muttered to herself as she looked at her phone, thinking about pizza – she could almost smell it. 

And then there was a knock on the door. 

That was unexpected – this was a secured building.  She got up and went to the door.

“See, the problem with ordering pizza when you live alone is that the pizza is always way too big for one person to eat alone.”  Finn said as soon as she opened the door. 

“That’s not a problem I encounter that often.”  Rae answered, trying to silence the long, protracted internal scream of anguish about what she was wearing right now. 

_For fucks sake… What the fuck…?  Why the fuck...?  Why is this a thing – why am I dressed like this now?_

“Aye, well I have a tendency to always order the largest size.”  He seemed to look her up and down.  Rae was sure she was mistaken, but then… “I like big you know?”  He seemed to cock his eyebrow slightly, as if making a point.  He cleared his throat and looked down.  Rae stared at his face wondering if she had heard what she thought she just heard.  “Anyway, thought I might share it with you?”  He asked with a cheeky grin.  “Hope you don’t mind pineapple on pizza?”  He opened the lid of the pizza box to show her.  It was a truly huge pizza – he must have ordered the family size!

“Is that a meat lover’s pizza with pineapple?”  She asked, amused by his choice of pizza. 

“Aye, something about all that salty processed meat with the sweet pineapple does it for me.”  He answered with a shrug. 

“Alright,” Rae couldn’t help but grin at him, “well I’m game to try anything once!”  She said as she opened the door wider to him, letting him in.  He came in, looking around at her place.  “You know, it was quite a risk assuming a single women would be at home and free on a Friday night.”  She said, thinking she looked quite pathetic right now. 

“Aye well, I’m a single man alone on a Friday night.”  He answered with a crooked smile, “guess I were just hoping you had as much of a life as me!”  He teased. 

“Marginally more.”  She said looking at the monitor.  “I’ve got friends online.”  She said and instantly regretted it.  A man like him probably didn’t like nerdy girls. 

“You play ‘World of Warcraft?’”  He asked and she nodded.

“Of course.”

“We should play together.”  He said, “And ‘Diablo 3 – I’ve been wanting to play that for a while.’”  He added with a grin.

“I’d like that.”  Rae answered.

 

DAY 64 – Saturday

He opened the door to his apartment and Rae looked around with a grin.

It was such a man’s apartment; messy bookshelves, messy coffee table, dark wood furniture.  But clean, and it smelled good. 

She spotted the lime green electric guitar on a stand and grinned.  Then she noticed he had an electric purple guitar, and a beautiful wooden, acoustic guitar as well. 

She wondered if there was a way to prompt him to play.  But he was making her a cup of tea.

After last night’s revelries, it seemed like he wanted to continue, so she’d suggested they game online together.  But he had scrunched up his nose and said he wanted to stay in the same room as her… Rae’s heart had leapt and she’d tried to temper her excitement and expectations.  She’d tried to play it cool, to just allow the friendship to grow.  She’d suggesting grabbing his computer and brining it up to her place and setting up for a day of gameplay.  He’d readily agreed. 

He handed her the tea, already knowing how she liked it from last night – he’d taken over kitchen duties fairly quickly.  Even this morning, he’d been the one to make breakfast and clean up afterwards.  She’d joked that she could get used to this – he’d smiled and not said a word.  So, of course, she’d worried that she’d said too much. 

But the way he’d sat her down and made her tea just now, lessened her fears. 

As soon as she’d started sipping her tea, he put his cup of tea down on the table and went over to his guitars. 

He picked up the purple one.

“Green’s in open C tuning.”  He said.  Rae didn’t know what that meant, “I usually keep that one in an alternative tuning, and purple in standard tuning.”  He continued and sat down on the stool near his guitars.  She noted that it was also near his balcony doors.  She watched him set up his guitar, plugging It in, flicking switches on his amp, checking the tuning with the volume low. 

But then he turned the volume up a little.

And then he began to play.

From the very first note she knew what he was playing; one of her most favourite Oasis songs – ‘Champagne Supernova.’

And she couldn’t help herself – she sang along.  In the chorus, he started to sing too. 

In the second verse they made eye contact, laughing as they kept singing. 

When the song was done he put his guitar away.

“I liked it that way.”  He said, his eyes lowered, but a grin on his face.  “It’s more fun playing music for someone who knows what they’re on about.” 

“It’s more fun listening to you play Oasis than them.”  Rae admitted.

“Aye, well, they’re a bunch o’ wankers.”  He said, “talented wankers, but… wankers nonetheless.” 

“No argument from me.”  Rae said, “Pity.”  She added. 

“Anyway, let’s get this computer set up, yeah?”  He asked as he started to unplug it.

“Aye.”  Rae answered with a grin. 

It took them an hour to set everything up comfortably, and log into their Blizzard accounts, so he could play with her online. 

“Alright, I’ve never played Diablo 3 before, so you’ll have to guide me.”  He said.  “I love Diablo 2 though.”  He added and she nodded.  “But I know 3 is a lot different to 2?”

“it is.”  She agreed, “2 was great wasn’t it?”  He nodded in response, “3’s great too.  Are you a brute force sort of a guy, or a magical finessing sort of a guy, or something in between?”

“In between.”  Finn answered. 

They went over character types for a bit until he eventually decided to play Demon Hunter, Rae decided to play a Barbarian – a heavy hitter to match his more magical character. 

They sat next to each other on her comfy sofa, eating snacks and microwave food.  They ordered in dinner and played late into the night, Finn again falling asleep on the lounge. 

Rae wondered what to do… should she wake him up and send him home?  Should she leave him on the lounge and go to bed?  Should she sleep on the lounge with him again?

They’d already talked about spending tomorrow like this too… So Rae reasoned he didn’t need to go home at all. 

And her lounge was very comfy and really big…

 

DAY 80 - Monday

“Alright ma, that is a good look for you.”

“Very fun.”  Linda answered, unimpressed. 

Rae helped her into the wheelchair.  Both of her legs were in casts, as was one of her arms.  And she’d been given a thick cushion-collar for around her neck.  It was that collar that had Rae grinning. 

Rae was happy – her mother was out of danger and ready to head home. 

Mia, her little sister and Karim, her step-father, were on their way to take her home.  And then Rae had to go straight to the airport. 

When she’d first come, she had been horrified – tubes everywhere, and the bruises.  Rae had fretted about holding her mother’s hand – she might end up hurting her or pulling out a tube.

Her mother had been unconscious for a full 3 days before she finally woke up.  Which for Rae had only been a single day of waiting.  The car accident had actually been a truck driving her mother off the road. 

But she had begun mending quickly.  And Rae had to return to work – she had a live streaming event coming up. 

So she made plans with them to return as soon as she could and headed home, only 10 days after arriving. 

She was starting to think about how easily she’d trusted Finn to go into her home alone.  She had hurriedly pushed her keys into his hands, begging him to get her mail and water her plants, explaining that her friends that lived close enough to do it were both unavailable at the moment. 

And he’d agreed to help her without a pause.

Rae had a feeling that he was a genuinely decent man.  She had a feeling that she wouldn’t end up being disappointed by Finn.

And she was surprised by just how much she missed him. 

 

DAY 85 – Saturday

“Yeah mum, I’ll ask him.”  She was saying when there was a knock on the door.  She was only wearing underpants and a t-shirt – her mother had called while she was getting dressed. 

She knew who it was going to be, so she didn’t mind opening up the door to him dressed like this.  She was rather hoping he’d see a lot more of her than this… one day… maybe… hopefully.

Her mother kept talking as Rae crossed her apartment. 

She opened the door, giving him a grin when he held up a bag of snacks and a 4 pack of beer.  She motioned for him to come in and turned away, still talking to her mother. 

“And how’s the arm?  Does the doctor say you’ll need surgery?”

“Probably pet.”  Linda answered, “But you don’t need to worry about that.”  She said as Rae watched Finn putting the beer in her fridge. 

“Course I do.”  Rae answered, her head dropping to the side as she stared at Finn’s arse.  “When do you want me to come back?”

“Oh, give it a month or two.”  Linda answered, wanting to give her more time to get to know Finn – Rae had talked so fondly about him when she’d been in Tunisia. 

Finn was moving around Rae’s kitchen, putting the snacks in the cupboard, making tea, filling up a glass of water to pour onto the chilli plant he’d gotten her – it lived on her kitchen window sill now. 

“Won’t you be more healed by then?  Won’t even need my help!”

“I’ve got Mia and Karim.”  Linda answered, “You can just come for a little holiday.”  She said, and when Rae started to protest she kept talking, “And I won’t be completely healed for months, so you’ll get plenty of chances to play nurse!”

Finn set up the lounge room while Rae finished up the conversation with her mother. 

“Hey.”  He said with a grin.  “Should I take my pants off too?”  He teased.

“Oh shit!  Sorry.”  Rae laughed.

“Nah, life’s better without pants, innit?”  He said, unbuckling his belt.  “Ready to play?”

“Absolutely.”  Rae was not thinking of ‘Diablo 3’ when she answered.

_Don’t look down Rae._

She made herself keep her eyes above his waistline as he slipped his pants off and left them on the floor, sitting down in his boxers and shirt. 

“So how’s your ma going?”  He asked.

“Oh, same old mother.  Somehow manages to be half killed and still the same old mum.”  She said fondly.  “Hey, do you wanna do my live stream tomorrow?”  She sat down beside him, not bothering to get those pants she’d been intending to put on.

“What are you doing?”  He asked. 

“Playing both of the new “Tombraider’ games through for charity.”  Rae said, “Women’s shelters – helping women flee domestic violence.”  She added.

“Yeah definitely.”  He said – he’d watched the one she’d done yesterday and thought it looked fun, “Though I’m not sure what I’d do in it… those games are single player?”

“There’s a multiplayer – player versus player part.”  Rae said, “I’ll try not to kill you too much in it.”  She said with a grin.  Her mother had asked her to ask Finn to do the livestream with her.  Linda wanted to see this Finn guy her daughter had spoken about, and she always watched Rae’s livestreams and made donations. 

“And you’ll still kill me relentlessly!”  He laughed.  “I’ll donate 500 quid.”  He added happily.

 

DAY 86 – Sunday

Rae couldn’t help but think about him sleeping on her lounge room while she was in here naked.  Showering.  The feel of her hands running soap over her body was incredibly erotic.  It had been a long time since she’d had sex.  Mike had been overseas for 8 months with his initial posting in Thailand.  She’d visited him for a month, but other than that she hadn’t had sex during that time.  Being monogamous in a long-distance relationship was hard work.  But that was over now.  Had been for what seemed like ages.

Rae thought back.  It had been 5 months since she’d had sex.

She tried to focus on the livestream she’d be doing today, but she couldn’t think straight.  She was far too horny. 

“Ugh.”  She sighed.

But her hands felt good on her body, and he was out there sleeping and being sexy and…

She masturbated in the bathroom, desperately rubbing her clitoris, clinging to the shower railing, swallowing back her moans of ecstasy, but still whimpering in bliss anyway. 

And she couldn’t help but think of Finn the whole time.

She knew she’d blush the minute she saw him. 

 

DAY 87 – Monday

Rae put her red lipstick on and took a deep breath. 

She smoothed out her dress and looked at herself in the mirror. 

He’d asked to go to the steakhouse a few blocks over for dinner, after he got home from work. 

He hadn’t used the word date.  But she had always supposed that eating a meal together at a restaurant counted as a date… then she’d had a lot of dates with Chloe. 

She sighed to herself and checked the time. 

She’d be late if she didn’t get a move on; she was meeting him there. 

 

DAY 88 – Tuesday

Rae shut down her program moodily. 

She couldn’t concentrate.

What had she done wrong?

Should she go up there and ask him why he hadn’t kissed her last night?

But then, she was mortified. 

She’d been a little tipsy, trying to get the courage to make a move on him… but when she finally had – he’d given her the cheek instead of kissing her!

Rae brooded grumpily, blasting metal music loudly. 

She was in no mood to listen to him play Oasis for her on his guitar today…

She was terrified of him not playing it.  This way – she’d never know if he had or hadn’t. 

And she resolutely refused to look at her front door… just in case a note didn’t slip under it.

 

DAY 89 - Wednesday

There are some tunes that are so important, so iconic that they burn a little mark in your soul.  Never to be forgotten.  And just the first few notes instantly transports you to memories of when this song first marked you.

Rae opened her eyes, the blankets were tucked up under her chin because she liked to sleep with the window open a crack and it was getting colder at nights now.

She had awoken and heard the first few notes of one of the most important songs of her life. 

Rae remembered being released from the mental institute as a teenager.  She remembered rekindling her friendship with Chloe.  She remembered that first boy who had liked her – the one she’d lost her virginity to. 

All of it played out over one magical summer in 1996. 

She’d lost contact with Liam not long after going back to school; he’d fallen off the deep end, ending up back in the institute.  But she had somehow kept it together.  Her and Chloe had grown closer in the wake of her horrific abuse from several of her boyfriends and her own parents.  They’d moved in together at university and had been together until Chloe got married.  Emotional, but fond memories. 

A song that meant the world to her.

And just the first few notes had sent her on this journey of memories.

And then he started to sing. 

“Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you.  By now you should've somehow realized what you gotta do.  I don't believe that anybody, feels the way I do about you now.”

Rae felt tears start to her eyes. 

She didn’t know how – but somehow he knew this song meant a lot to her.  They had such similar tastes in music that she had no doubt that he probably had the same sorts of memories when it came to this song. 

“Backbeat, the word was on the street that the fire in your heart is out.  I'm sure you've heard it all before. but you never really had a doubt.  I don't believe that anybody, feels the way I do about you now.”

Rae went out on to the balcony to hear him better. 

“And all the roads we have to walk are winding.  And all the lights that lead us there are blinding.  There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how.”

Finn sung with so much emotion.

“Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me?  And after all, you're my wonderwall.”

Rae went inside and grabbed her keys.

She locked her door, ran down the hallway and hammered the button to the lift. 

But it was taking too long, so she took the stairs, running up them.

He’d left his door propped open and she went right in.  He was sitting on the balcony.  Jeans and no shirt on, leaning back in his chair, one foot up on the balcony ledge, his eyes closed, singing passionately. 

She didn’t know what she was going to do.

She wanted to listen to him finish playing ‘Wonderwall’ but she also wanted to kiss him. 

And then he opened his eyes and looked at her. 

She didn’t know what she said to him.

She didn’t know how they ended up on the floor.

She just knew that his kiss felt like the summer sun on her lips, the touch of his fingers was like the fizz of fizz-whiz, his taste was like a fond memory being formed – the kind that takes you back to a better time, leaves a smile on your lips and a song in your heart. 

And when they made love, it created better music than she’d ever heard before.

Even ‘Wonderwall’ couldn’t compete. 

 

DAY 90 - Thursday

She opened her eyes and he was looking down at her, a look of adoration in his eyes. 

“Morning.”  He said in a soft voice. 

His hand was on her waist, the other one was gently stroking her hair. 

“Hi.”  She answered. 

“I don’t have to be in work until the afternoon.”  Finn said, “So what do you wanna do this morning?” 

“Be with you.”  She answered honestly.

“I’m hoping we’re gonna have a long time for that.”  He answered, “Maybe I can make you some pancakes?”  He said, “And you can teach me all about ‘Overwatch?’”

“Or you can teach me how to play Wonderwall?” 

“Save ‘Overwatch’ for the weekend huh?”  He said and then he leaned down and kissed her. 

It was a deep, breathless kiss and he groaned in satisfaction when he was done. 

He gave her a radiant smile and jumped out of his bed.

She watched him walk across his bedroom naked.

“Finn?”  She asked when he got to the door.  “What are we?” 

He dropped his head to the side in thought for a moment. 

“Why are you asking me?  It’s as much up to you as it is me.”  He answered.

Rae was surprised by that answer.

“You’re right.”  She said slowly, “But I still need to hear what you think.”

“I think we’re partners.”  He said.  “You?” 

“Wait… as in gaming partners?”  Rae clarified, her heart beating hard and fast. 

She saw him pause.  Saw him take a deep breath.

“I was thinking…” She heard the waver in his voice, and she knew.  “I was thinking more along the lines of… maybe… life partners?” 

She saw the vulnerability all over his face.

“I’d like that too.”  Rae answered, getting up out of the bed, “But we gotta get to know each other better before we know for sure.”  She said and he nodded. 

“Aye I know, but… I can’t stop me heart wanting what it wants.”  He shrugged and gave her a crooked smile. 

“I know exactly what you mean.”  Rae answered and watched his smile grow. 

“Right,” He said, “Pancakes, guitar lessons… more sex?” 

“Perfect morning.”  Rae said.

“And I’ll make pasta for dinner.”  He added, “Your place or mine?”

 

 

 


	2. Finn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn's POV

DAY 1 - Saturday

Finn looked around the empty bedroom and frowned. 

“Archie.”  He sighed and closed the door.  He’d just moved out to live with his long-term boyfriend.  Finn was expecting a marriage proposal either from or to Archie, pretty soon.  And he didn’t think he was being cocky in expecting that Archie would want him to be his best man at the wedding. 

He went out to the balcony and looked down at some moving guys and a truck.

“Someone finally took the flat above.”  He mused. 

He watched them for a bit, wanting to catch sight of his new neighbour.  But he didn’t spot them. 

He shrugged and went inside, going to the kitchen to warm up a frozen meat pie for breakfast. 

Finn put the television on and crinkled his nose at the news.

“Fucking Trump.” He sighed and changed the channel, “Fucking Theresa May.”  He said at the news on the next channel.  He kept flicking through the channels until he found cartoons. 

He briefly wondered if it was a bit sad for a man in his 30s, living alone, to be watching cartoons and eating a frozen meat pie for breakfast…

He shrugged and reminded himself that 5 days of the week he was a perfectly respectable lecturer on musical history at university. 

He ate a couple of jelly beans he’d left in the packet on the table and sat down, waiting for the pie. 

He decided that he might play his guitar after breakfast.  It felt like a good day for it. 

 

DAY 5 – Wednesday

Hey Da

I won’t be able to make it back this weekend – too many assignments to mark

But I’ll be back for your birthday and I’ll stay for about 4 days if that’s ok

They finally sold, or rented out the apartment above me.  So far whoever they are seems pretty quiet – luckily not like your new neighbours! 

Celia and me broke up. Not that we were really together.  I think that was probably the problem in the end.  And I know you want grandkids pa, but honestly, I just never felt that way about her - she was nice and all, but I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life with her.  And you don’t have to pretend to like her anymore!

I reckon Robbie’s gonna ask Arch to marry him soon – yesterday he asked me how long I’d need to plan a buck’s party – so it’s on!  And I reckon soon too.  I think he wants to ‘run away’ and marry Arch – maybe some sort elopement we’re all invited to.  I think they were thinking of heading to Vietnam or something.  He did ask if I had a passport too.  Make sure you got yours all up to date – I reckon Archer’ll invite you.  I mean you were basically his dad after his dad was such a dick, and he did live with us for 3 years – I’d be so surprised if you aren’t invited – even though Robbie’s been saying for years that he wants a super small wedding.

How’s Jane?  I hope you’re treating her right!  She’s a keeper that one.

Now don’t go worrying about me cos I’m single again.  I’m fine – I’m playing guitar again and feeling good and I got a pay raise!

Anyway pa, got assignments to mark and a hankering to play Nirvana – my night’s planned – I hope yours is too!

Love ya muchly

Finn xo

 

DAY 9 - Sunday

Finn moved his fingers over the frets, trying to get his fingers to do what Matt Bellamy’s did when they played ‘Plug In Baby’ – Muse sometimes had some tricky musical progressions in their songs, and he enjoyed learning them. 

He supposed he should do some of that work for Chop; he was working on a television show and he wanted some original music for it. 

He went out on the balcony.  He remembered having to come out here to smoke; even when it was freezing or raining – Archie wouldn’t have it in the house once he’d quit.  Then a few years back he’d had pneumonia and been in hospital for a few weeks.  His lungs had felt heavy for months and he’d been on antibiotics for just as long – it had been drug resistant pneumonia.  He hadn’t been able to smoke during that time.  Nor had he wanted to.  Pneumonia had quite cured his addiction it seemed.  He’d never smoked a single puff of a cigarette again.  He’d been surprised at how easy it had been given he’d been smoking since he was 14.  He sighed when he thought about that first cigarette; over 20 years ago now. 

He saw a shadow move in the noon sun and looked up. 

His new neighbour above had their feet hanging over the balcony. 

He wondered if he should go up and introduce himself to them.  Make a friend or something.  He could knock on the door when he visited Chop and Izzy he supposed. 

But he knew he wouldn’t.  It wasn’t his way.

 

DAY 22 - Saturday

It had been a fun 4 days with his father, but after a long drive home, Finn was glad to be home.

He was tired and ready for bed, but there was a note on his door from Chop; he needed that new music soon. 

But not tonight.  Finn collapsed in bed and fell asleep, still dressed. 

 

DAY 23 - Sunday

Finn’s stomach was growling; he knew he’d have to stop for lunch soon.  But he had to work on this song for Chop.

But someone had knocked on the door. 

A soft knock.

He got up and saw that a note had been slipped under the door. 

He opened the door to see if anyone was still out there, but the hallway was empty. 

He closed the door and picked up the letter.

It was a hand written note on a creamy, posh-looking card.

_‘A humble request to the guitarist: Oasis… any Oasis song you know.’_

He chuckled and headed back to his guitar, thinking about the best song to play. 

He grinned and struck up the opening notes to _‘Stop Crying Your Heart Out.’_

 

DAY 30 – Sunday

Finn heard the tears from the apartment above him and looked up at his ceiling, the groceries in his hands, the front door still open. 

He’d been with Archie most of the morning, and had stopped at the store on his way home. 

Chop had said that the neighbour upstairs was named Ray… but that was definitely a woman crying.  Maybe Ray had a girlfriend?

Finn scrunched up his nose and wondered if he should knock on her door and try to help…

But he wouldn’t want some stranger knocking on his door while he was crying. 

He had suspected that the person who had slipped him the Oasis note was his upstairs neighbour.  He couldn’t be sure of course, since he’d only really started playing guitar again when he’d broken up with Celia, which had only been a few days before the new neighbour moved in.  So really it could have been anyone in the apartment block that had heard him and written the note.  But still, he thought it had come from upstairs.  And the note, on that posh paper, with the cursive writing – it felt like a woman had written it.  And he had thought that the feet hanging over the balcony had looked like a woman’s feet.

So Ray had a girlfriend or wife.

And she was crying right now. 

And he had a sneaking suspicion, that she liked Oasis – if he was right about who sent that note, of course. 

He picked up his guitar and went out onto his balcony and started to play ‘Don’t Look Back in Anger’ – it somehow seemed right. 

After he had finished there was a moment of silence and then.

“Thank you.”  He heard her voice from above him – he could hear the tears in her cracking voice.  But when he looked up he couldn’t see her – she wasn’t leaning over her balcony. 

“You’re so very welcome.”  He returned. 

 

DAY 31 – Monday

When he got home from work that night, he was worried about how his upstairs neighbour was.  She wasn’t crying today, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t hurting. 

So he wrote out a letter and slipped it under her door, giving it a soft knock and heading back downstairs.  He just wanted her to know she wasn’t alone. 

A few minutes later he heard a knock at his door and when he went over to it, there was a note on the floor. 

‘ _Yeah, thanks.  Just broke up with my bf.  Which was best for both of us.  Still hurt though.  Thank you for your beautiful playing.’_

So he wrote a response, and waited to see if she’d reply.

She did.

_‘Well I’m glad you did start playing again.  You’re so talented.  It’s good to know that neither of us are alone, even if it sometimes feels that way.’_

They wrote little notes to each other for the rest of the evening, even writing a ‘good night’ letter to each other.

Finn was curious as to who this woman was, but this way of communicating felt right for them at the moment. 

 

DAY 40 – Wednesday

Almost every day now there was a note under his door when he got home. 

It always brought a smile to his face. 

And if there wasn’t a note, he’d write one to her and slip it under her door.  She’d always write back.

They talked about all sorts of things.  Music mostly.  And often about their past relationships.  But nothing about here and now.  Nothing that could identify them.  He didn’t know what her job was, what she looked like, who her family were…

But he knew what kind of a person she was.  And he liked her. 

 

DAY 50 – Saturday

“Fucking hell…”  He was in a foul mood; his motorbike had broken down and he’d just had to walk an hour to get home; they’d towed his bike… towed it.  And charged him a fortune for it!

He was grumbling to himself and looking down at his shoes, until he got to the post boxes. 

He looked up as he reached out to his box.

And then he saw her.

She looked like what he had always imagined those Venus paintings would have looked if men hadn’t been obsessed with birds who looked like needed to eat a burger or 3.  He had to stop his mind from putting her on that big clam shell with cherubs all around, coming out of the ocean.  Her long black hair tumbling down over her shoulder and naked breasts…

His eyes dropped to her breasts and he froze, panicked that she’d see that.  He flicked his eyes down.

_Get your shit together Nelson!_

He lectured himself. 

“Hi.”  She was holding her hand out to him and he took it, her warm soft skin sent tingles of fire through his body. 

“Hi.”  He tried to play it cool. 

“I’m new here.”  He noticed how nervous she seemed.  He realised she had probably seen him perving on her tits and was creeped out.  He tried to back off a little, so she knew he wasn’t a threat.  “Well not really new… as new as someone who’s been here nearly 2 months can be.” 

“Oh right.”  He realised that this was the woman upstairs.  The one he’d been writing notes to.  She had possibly been dating Ray before the break up?  Or was still living with a man named Ray?  He wasn’t sure.  But he had a feeling that she couldn’t possibly be single.  “You live with your boyfriend then?”  He wanted it confirmed, so he wouldn’t start getting any ideas about asking her out on a date… She already looked awkwardly uncomfortable around him.  But she was so beautiful, and he knew she was a nice woman…

“No… I live alone.” 

And that was it.  Finn knew he’d be chasing her now. 

_Might still have a boyfriend Finn – settle…_

_They broke up – might have gotten back together._

_Not from the way she was crying – there’s no way this woman is single Nelson – get your shit together._

“Oh… I could’ve sworn Chop said Ray lived up there now.”  He tried to clarify what was going on and shut up the urge in him to ask her on a date right this very minute. 

“Yeah that’s right.  I’m Rae.”  She was utterly stunning and he wanted to know her a lot better.  Little notes under the doors wouldn’t be enough.

“Oh right… Okay.”  He tried to think of something to stall for time – so he could keep talking to her, “Rae.”  He cleared his throat and forced himself not to check her out again.  “I’m Finn.”  He said, his eyes completely ignoring the order from his brain to stop checking her out. 

“Nice meeting you Finn.”  She said, “Hey, do you live directly below me?” 

Finn knew that she’d been listening to his guitar playing.  She looked like the kind of woman who had great taste in music, so he had no doubt that she enjoyed everything he played, not just the Oasis songs.  But more importantly – he was 100% sure she was the one with the notes. 

“Aye I do.”  He wanted to ask her if she thought he did Oasis justice?

Their eyes met for a moment and he dropped his eyes almost instantly.  He was about a millimetre away from eye-fucking her… and he didn’t even know her last name yet. 

“Well I’ll see you around.”  She was walking away and he wanted so much more conversation.

“You send the note?”  He called after her, stopping himself from getting on the elevator, hoping she’d stop too and talk more.  He hoped this would be a great opener to a closer friendship – after all, they’d already said so much in their notes. 

“Yes.”  She said as the doors closed. 

“Fuck me…”  He said in a soft voice, totally in awe of her.  “Keep it together lad.”  He said, getting his mail out of his post box. 

_She didn’t show any signs of liking me._

He thought morosely as he climbed the stairs. 

_Maybe she’s just shy.  Bigger girls often are._

He tried to cheer himself. 

“Aye but there were an air of confidence about her.”  He muttered, his brows furrowing.  She was going to take some figuring out.  But he liked that. 

He got to his apartment and let himself in, thinking about what Oasis song he was going to play. 

He wanted the song to send a message… but he didn’t want to be too forward either.

“Or do I?”  He asked his empty apartment.  “Maybe I do want to be forward.  Maybe it’s best to be forward… leave her with no doubt of my interest in her.”

But then he thought about how awkward she’d obviously felt; he had been pretty creepy – alternating between staring and her and trying not to stare at her.

He sighed and wondered if he should pay her a song at all.

But it was a tradition now, so he decided he would. 

He tossed up between ‘Don’t Go Away’ and ‘Acquiesce’ for a moment. 

The lyrics were probably better in ‘Acquiesce’ – but the guitar was much better in ‘Don’t Go Away.’

So he went with ‘Don’t Go Away.’

He opened up his house, and turned up the volume on his amplifier, standing at the doors to his balcony.  He played for her.

And when he was done – he heard her clapping. 

 

DAY 52 – Monday

He decided to slip a note under her door before heading to work.

He knew there’s be one waiting for him when he returned from work.

It put him in a good mood for the whole day. 

 

DAY 63 - Friday

He pulled a face and turned to try and see his arse.

“Nope.”  He pulled off the pants and reached for his jeans.  Archie had been trying to get him to wear pants other than jeans.  But he thought jeans still made him look best.  And he wanted to look his best.  He turned and looked at his arse again and nodded.

“Better.” 

His buzzer went off and he went to the intercom.

“Pizza.”

“Yeah up to the fifth floor thanks.”  He said pressing the button to open the door to the apartments for the delivery girl. 

He looked around the apartment for what he needed, grabbing his wallet and keys. 

He paid for the pizza and wondered if taking a bottle of wine was pushing his luck. 

He looked down at the bag of sides he had – coke, chocolate ice cream, garlic bread... 

“Oi…”  He took the garlic bread out of the bag, and the chicken wings; they were too hot – they’d melt the ice cream.  He put them in another bag and looked around the apartment again.

The pizza box was impressively big, so his excuse was almost believable. 

He took a deep breath and left his apartment before he lost his nerve. 

The lift felt like it took seven hours to go up one floor. 

He poked his head out of the lift and looked out at her floor for a moment before stepping off the lift. 

It seemed like fate to him that for almost the first 2 months of Rae living here he hadn’t seen her once.  But for almost the past 2 weeks he’d seen her half a dozen times.

They’d talked.  She’d seemed less awkward around him. 

She was funny as fuck.

Great taste in music.

Cutest, sexist woman he’d ever met…

And their conversations had mostly been over the mail boxes, riding up the lift together… seeing each other in the local curry joint that one time – both of them with friends.  The friendship group had merged together, and then Chop and Izzy had come.  It had been nice, Chloe and her husband, Archie and his fiancé, Izzy and Chop… it seemed like fate that the last couple was Rae and himself.  That had been a great night – only 2 nights ago.  They’d both been a little tipsy when they’d rode the lift together, laughing, joking.  He hadn’t wanted to get off at his floor.  He’d wanted to go back to her place.  But they hadn’t even had a date yet and she was drunk.  So he’d gotten off at his floor.  He’d written her a note that night.  One he hadn’t sent – talking about how attractive he found her. 

He had to take her on a date first. 

He wasn’t even sure if this would count as a date… but it was a start. 

His hands were shaking as he knocked her door. 

 

DAY 64 - Saturday

He opened his eyes and groaned softly to himself; his neck was out of place. 

And his elbow was in a plate of pizza. 

She was sleeping with her head on the arm of the lounge, her plate on the floor, a few pieces of pineapple on it. 

‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ was still playing on one of her screens.  The other screen had Windows Explorer open on it.  She had clicked onto her drive called ‘Magenta’ – a drive filled with movies.  He looked up and saw them listed out.  He could see her other 4 drives; ‘Cyan’, ‘Olive’ and ‘Canary.’  He couldn’t help but wonder what was on those other drives.  He knew that Cyan had music on it.  But he didn’t think about it too long.  He instead turned to look at her. 

Dawn slowly brought light to the room, and it seemed like her skin was gently glowing.  Part of him wanted to reach out and stroke her cheek.  But he knew that would be wrong; they weren’t that close.  He didn’t have anywhere near the kind of comfortable unspoken permission that came from a strong relationship, that a person needed to be touching another person in their sleep. 

He got up and went to her bathroom, closing the door behind him, thinking back on the great night they’d just had. 

They’d watched a movie and eaten the garlic bread and chicken wings, having some coke with it. 

Then they’d moved on to playing computer games together; Lego computer games, on her X-box One.  It had been so much fun.  First ‘Lego Indiana Jones’ then ‘Lego Lord of the Rings’ – he had wanted to play forever. 

But it had been pizza time.  And it was late, past midnight.  But they ate pizza, talking, music on in the background.  Her computer had everything on it. 

Then they’d played some ‘Left 4 Dead’ before more pizza and ‘Star Wars.’

He’d put his plate of pizza with a half-finished slice on the armrest of the lounge suite and watched, happily sleepy, but noting she wasn’t asking him to go – even though she was obviously sleepy too.

He grinned – last night had been great.

After he finished up with the toilet he washed his hands… and his elbow and headed back out into the lounge room. 

She was awake, stretching and yawning. 

“So, what do you want to do today?”  He asked her, trying to make it very clear that he was keen to spend the day with her. 

 

DAY 80 - Monday

Finn opened up her mail box and took out her letters. 

He rode the lift past his floor up to hers.  He opened her door and left the letters on her kitchen counter with the others.  He went into the laundry and grabbed the watering can for her plants. 

And he worried.

She’d been gone 10 days – her mother had been in a car accident in Tunisia.  He hadn’t heard a word since. 

Chloe, her best friend had been away for work, and their neighbour Izzy, who she’d gotten to know quite well, was away with Chop on holiday.  She had apologised for asking… but he’d been eager to help her.  She didn’t know how long she’d be gone – could he get her mail and water her plants?  He’d instantly said yes.

He missed her. 

He worried. 

He just wanted to hear that she and her family was ok. 

 

DAY 85 – Saturday

She’d dropped in to thank him and tell him all the news when she’d gotten back from Tunisia, but between their work schedules and Archie getting engaged, finally, they hadn’t managed to see each other all week.

Although, he’d played her an Oasis song every night after dinner. 

He’d dropped a letter under her door about meeting up, on Saturday, to game together again – his computer was still at her place, and he was grading papers on his laptop. 

She left a note under his saying ‘you’re on!’

He knew they could call or email – he had her details now.  He knew he could just knock on her door and chat to her – they chatted all the time… But this felt like the right way to contact her – it was theirs. 

He’d waited for today with keen anticipation.  The past fortnight he hadn’t seen her nearly enough. 

And when she opened the door his heart nearly stopped. 

She wasn’t wearing any pants…

She was on the phone to her mother, and she didn’t seem to notice that she was pants-less. 

_Play it cool Finn._

As she turned away his eyes dropped to her long, shapely, creamy legs and he sucked his bottom lip in desire. 

_Eyes up Nelson._

He commanded himself, and to keep himself occupied he went straight to her kitchen.

But as he worked, a cheeky idea wouldn’t leave his mind; shouldn’t he take his pants off too? 

Seemed only right…

And if he was lucky, maybe more clothing would end up coming off…

 

DAY 86 – Sunday

She’d been blushing when she came out of the bathroom.  Finn figured she must have had a very hot shower to make her face so red. 

He mentally shrugged it off. 

He was so ready for this livestream.  He’d read up about them when he’d first learned about her career and what she did.  Basically, she would play the game all the way through live on the internet.  People would sign in and watch her while she made jokes and talked them through the whole game.  She couldn’t edit out any mistakes she made, which often produced some of the funniest moments.  This was part of a 48 hour marathon of female gamers from around the world.  All of them would play a solo game or two and many of them would play a co-op or multiplayer game, most of them with their partner, some would be playing with each other. 

Finn was excited for it.  He also noted that a lot of the other women were doing co-op with their partners… He tried not to put too much meaning into it. 

 

DAY 87 – Monday

Finn looked at his watched as he dumped all of his papers on the table. 

“Shit.”  He grumbled. 

He’d had to take a colleague’s lecture when she’d had to go bail her son out of jail!

Now he was running late for his first date with Rae.

He took a quick look at himself fin the mirror. 

He had wanted to have time to shower and put on better clothes than his ‘I’m a university professor’ clothing, but there was no time. 

He was going to grab a taxi.  But there was no time.

He took off at a run to the restaurant. 

He knew if he ran hard, he might just make it on time.

He was 3 minutes late. 

She was 10 minutes late!

And she looked fucking amazing.  She always did, but red lipstick with her complexion was something special. 

Finn knew he’d been in trouble since the moment he’d first seen her.

But getting to know her a bit better.

And now this date…

Finn was in deep trouble.  And he liked it.

 

DAY 88 – Tuesday

He’d heard the metal music wafting down from her windows from the street. 

He’d been forced to use public transport to get to and from work until his motorbike was fixed.  But he was saving for the inevitable announcement of Archie’s wedding ceremony being overseas.  The motorbike needed a lot of work and it could wait. 

He’d been down all day. 

He knew he had to talk to her…

He thought about slipping a note under the door, but he couldn’t think of what to say.  Sometimes, especially when it mattered the most, he wasn’t good with words.  He’d worked hard his whole adult life to overcome that, but his inability with words was coming back to him now. 

He’d wanted to play a particular Oasis song for her tonight.  One that meant a lot to him. 

But she was very obviously rejecting his music; her metal music was so loud he couldn’t even hear his own television when he put it on.  He imagined that some of their other neighbours might complain if she left it that loud past 10pm. 

He’d fucked up.

Not because of what he’d done, but because he hadn’t explained it properly.

“She was drunk.”  He said in exasperation to his empty apartment as he unbuttoned his shirt. 

At the end of their very fun date, she been so flirty, so obviously wanting sex…

She’d leaned in to kiss him and he’d turned to give her his cheek. 

The night had been a complete success until that moment. 

He’d rejected her.  And she was hurt.  He understood it. 

But he’d done it because she was drunk – not because he didn’t want her.

He wanted her so bad it was driving him mad.

But he knew it was wrong to start sexual encounters with a person who was drunk, and with the way they had both been last night, there was no way a kiss would have just been a kiss. 

Besides, he wanted them both to be able to fully remember and enjoy their first kiss.  And alcohol had a way of making everything messy and unmemorable. 

He sighed sadly and sat down, worrying he’d fucked up his only chance with her. 

He’d tried to explain, but had simply said he was tired and wished her a good night before heading downstairs to his own apartment.

“Fucking daft.”  He said to himself.  He should have stayed and properly explained.  But he thought that trying to explain to her while she was drunk would be pointless. 

He thought about going to her now, but the angry music made it clear she didn’t want to talk.

He’d try playing for her tomorrow. 

Hopefully she’d hear him. 

 

DAY 89 - Wednesday

There are some tunes that are so important, so iconic that they burn a little mark in your soul.  Never to be forgotten.  And just the first few notes instantly transports you to memories of when this song first marked you.

The moment Finn opened his eyes that morning, he knew he was going to play this song for her as soon as possible today.  The song that was filled with the memories of a magical summer of falling in love for the first time, going to his first rave, having sex for the first time, being heartbroken for the first time.  Every time he heard this song it always took him back to those memories.

But it also held more to it.  It was a song about the journeys we take in our lives, about taking those journeys with someone important… about needing them, relying on them – to save you, even from yourself… And for Finn, it was about wanting those things. 

He got up, peed, put on some jeans, propped his front door open, and did a few vocal warm-ups before opening every window in his apartment, and sitting out on his balcony with his guitar plugged in and an under-used microphone Archie had given him a long time ago set up in front of him. 

The moment he started to strum the tune, he poured all his thoughts and feelings for Rae into the song. 

And he sung, thinking of her, hoping she could hear him.

“Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you.  By now you should've somehow realized what you gotta do.  I don't believe that anybody, feels the way I do, about you now.”

He kept singing ‘Wonderwall’, hoping deeply that she would understand what he was trying to say to her. 

He sang through to the chorus, his secret hope that she would hear and come upstairs to talk to him started to wane. 

He was part way through the next verse when he opened his eyes and saw her, standing in his apartment, looking at him. 

He stopped mid-word, mid-chord and returned the stare, their eyes meeting. 

“That song…”  She whispered and he stood up.

“For you.”  He answered. 

“That song means a lot to me.”  She told him.

“And me.”

There was a moment of silence, Finn slowly walking towards her as she considered what he’d said.

But instead of doing what he should have done – explain why he hadn’t kissed her… He simply put a hand on her cheek and stared into her eyes.

“Rae…”  He whispered and she kissed him. 

He pulled her to him hard, wanting to hold her tightly and never let her go.  He knew how brave she had been to try and kiss him a second time after his previous rejection.  He also promised her, silently, to explain all about that – later.  Right now, her fingers were on his zipper and he was tearing her blouse open. 

_Shit Finn, settle down!_

He tried to tell himself to calm down, but he just pulled her close as soon as he had her blouse open, kissing down her neck to her breasts.  She hadn’t been wearing a bra under her blouse; it was the buttoned shirt of a pair of pyjamas. 

He was laughing as he started to pull on her pants. 

They were ‘Dr Who’ pyjamas. 

But the laughter quickly disappeared as they both simultaneously tried to pull pants off each other and ended up tumbling to the floor.

“Ow!” 

Then more laughter.  This time from her.

They kissed.

They fumbled with clothes.

They rolled around on the floor.

They finally got each other naked.

They made love. 

It was perfect. 

 

DAY 90 – Thursday

He stared up at the celling for a long while.

He’d called in sick from work yesterday.  They’d made love several times before ending up sleeping in his bed. 

He had to go in to work today, which was unfortunate.  He might not be as young as he used to be, but he still thought he could manage a day of love-making.  In between resting and eating of course.  But that kind of day would have to wait.

At least they’d have the morning; he wasn’t needed until 1pm. 

She was stirring and he knew she’d be awake soon.  But he wanted a few moments of watching her sleep before she did, so he propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at her. 

She was beautiful.  Most importantly, she was a beautiful person in the way she treated people and the way she approached life and the world.  But she was also particularly good to look at. 

She woke.

They talked a little, planning the day.

And then she asked him what they were. 

He’d been terrified to answer.  Because to him, this was a serious thing.  When he looked at her, he thought he might already be in love… it was scary, but exciting.  Scary because he knew how fast that was, and he was worried she’d get put off by it. 

So he’d deflected the question slightly, wanting her to tell him what she thought and felt first…

But something inside of him kept yelling out that she was the one. 

So he’d told her that they were partners… life partners.

And she hadn’t backed away from that.  She’d rightly pointed out it was fast… but she hadn’t backed away. 

Finn was in a particularly good mood as he made breakfast and they planned out their evening. 

Then they planned their weekend. 

And then-

“Hey uh…”  Finn hesitated for a moment.  “I have a wedding to go to in a month.”  He said, “Wanna come?”

“Yeah, ok.”  Rae said.

“Uh… there’s a catch.”  He watched her narrow her eyes at him, “It’s in Costa Rica… Me best mate Archie’s getting married on the side of volcano.” 

She stared at him in silence for a moment.

“How quaint.”  She said.

They both burst out in laughter. 


End file.
